So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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