your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
