I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
