I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
