Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
