I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize