I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
