I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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