The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
