why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
