apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
