Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
