CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
