so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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