What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
