Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize