I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize
