thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
