Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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