dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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