I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
