I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize