East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
