I wannas sexs uuuuu
Plan B is the new Plan A
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
