The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
