Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think I died a long time ago.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
