Moan for me like Helen Keller
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
