you would pick up someone in the library
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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