I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
