Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
