Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
