i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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