i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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