i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
