in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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