Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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