there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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