I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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