Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
soo... how was my night?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
