is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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