Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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