True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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