White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
