I'm so fucking centered right now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Drunk is not a location!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
