it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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