so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
