I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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