I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
