grandma shit on top of the toilet
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
