Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
