hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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