I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
