Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
wow bdsm is so cute
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
