i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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