Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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