It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
