i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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