So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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