So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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