He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
