I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This baby is an asshole
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
