So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize