think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
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