belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
