Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
