I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
