Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
