He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
